A Song Title For the Ages

Howdy, everyone, 

Well, last week I mentioned being short of time, and that I'd be brief in my comments. Little did I know how much time I would have starting the next afternoon. For one day later, I learned that, due to COVID's effect on my agency's finances, my position was being eliminated, effective immediately. After 29 years with my agency, I am out of a job, and this is the first time in about 40 years that I've neither been employed or in school. Hopefully, it will be just a hiccup in time, but who knows. 

Anyway, I have updated another three posts from way back in the summer of 2005. To explain two of the three posts, I should mention that, as I was flailing around for something to post, I decided to offer up my listening list for the month of June, and offered to share anything from that list on my site. My friend Michael asked for six of the tracks, and I posted them, in two posts. The first featured three tracks from a Latin flavored Percy Faith album from 1952, along with a detailed explanation of how I had known two of these tracks since I was a toddler, the story of my family's first reel to reel tape, which I've subsequently told elsewhere a few times. The other featured three moderately large hit songs from 1959 and 1960. All of these have subsequently become easy to find on YouTube, but hardly anyone knew what that was in 2005, so I'm fixing these posts to get this site back the way it once looked and worked. 

The other "fixed" post is one which was meant to be part of a series (which I never really got very far with), called "The Perfect Record", in this case featuring a wonderful Nordic-flavored record from around 1950, which I later also shared at WFMU. 

And now, for a title as unique as anything I've ever seen on a song-poem: 

~~~

I try not to feature the same label - and certainly not the same singer, within two or three posts of each other. But when something comes this far out of left field, I have to share it with y'all. I mentioned a few weeks ago that I thought Ellen Wayne did a fairly poor job on the two songs I featured in a post at that time, while also allowing that she has been quite entertaining on certain, more "out there" material. 

And that's what we have here. with the bewilderingly titled "A Bellingham Playday Song", which immediately has become one of my favorite song titles ever. The Catalog of Copyright Entries shows that Edna Rice copyrighted this lyric in 1962, along with a song called "Bellingham Children". Bellingham is a city in Washington State, and I'd put money on it that Ms. Rice lived there at some point, probably when she wrote these lyrics. 

Okay, so I'll give you 150 guesses as to what "A Bellingham Playday Song" is about. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Give up? Well, it's about how much the writer loves Jesus, how much Jesus loves her, how mean the devil is (there's actually more text about the devil's meanness than there is about Jesus). Then there's a bridge section about Jesus as a child. 

Ellen Wayne provides her typical over-the-top, so bad it's good style, stretching out words so much that there are words in that bridge that I can't make out - enough of them that I have NO idea what the point of that lyric is. And those are the ONLY words in the song besides the chorus that I already summarized.  

And this may be nit-picky, but I also get a kick out of how this is "A" Bellingham Playday Song, and not "THE" Bellingham Playday Song. Like, maybe there's a whole series of Bellingham Playday Songs, and this is one of them. I'd love to hear the others. 

If they were still making song-poem compilations, I have to believe this would have been one of the selections. It would absolute have to be. 

Download: Ellen Wayne - A Bellingham Playday Song

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If someone out there has an insight as to what the title might mean, and how it relates to the lyrics, I'd LOVE to hear it. 

~~~

The flipside is called "The Feeling", and it starts out great guns, with a driving piano/bass/drums arrangement, similar to several other TPA records from the period. To my ears, though, it doesn't sustain. The lyricist's work is all over the map. Within the first verse, the singer has professed her feeling that she and her lover will never part, AND that they are drifting apart. 

We quickly move into a piano solo, one which is marked by a few clams, and far less of the energy I felt in those opening bars. When Ellen returns with her vocal, she's now sure that she has lost his love. That was quick. 

Download: Ellen Wayne - The Feeling

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~~~

And now, one of my favorites of all of the Cut-Ups I've ever done. If you are just now hearing this term from me, please check the last several posts, as I've explained what these are and where they came from a few times. 

By the way, if any of the inserts I've used intrigue you, and you want to know where they came from, simply ask, and I will answer, if I remember, which will usually be the case. 

I don't have much use for Lionel Richie's body of work, except for a couple of records with the Commodores and one solo release. But I think that solo release - "Hello" - is quite a good song and record. So it was a natural for me to chop it into bits and make fun of it. 

I think this came out quite nicely, and, as I said with a couple of my other cut-ups, this is not safe for work. 

Download: Lionel Richie - Hello (cut-up)

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On a side note, you may have noticed the word "edit" on some of these cut up files. This is an indication that I've tightened up or slightly changed the original tapes, in order to improve them in some way. 

An Amazing Find

Before we get to a truly spectacular, nearly undefinable find, here's another vintage song-poem ad, in this case from a 1919 edition of "Photoplay" magazine, courtesy of Pete. This one has a great sales pitch, and an even better drawing! Feel free to print this out and send it in - I wonder what would happen!?!?

 

 

And now!!!!!

 

 

The Halmark saga continues, in a direction I never would have guessed. In the last few years, I've come to realize that some of the endlessly repeated Halmark backing tracks began life as music beds for covers of 1960's hit songs, including "Gentle on My Mind". I've also come across a record purporting to present "By the Time I Get to Phoenix" as a Halmark original, and, most recently, found a record where Halmark actually made a good-faith effort to record a backing track that sounded like it fit in the '70's.

 

What I didn't expect this time, and what nothing I'd ever heard or seen about the label had indicated before, is that they accepted vanity projects. And that is the only possible explanation for the existence of the song "Love is Where You Are", identified only as having been written by "Mike" (no last name) of Lowden, Iowa. My guess is that's Mike singing it, too. And a more incompetent performance (of nearly four minutes) I've rarely heard, on a song-poem or anywhere else. This record truly blows my mind. I will say no more, but would love to hear the reactions of the rest of you, in the comments. My guess is that your mouth drops open and stays that way - I know mine did.

 

Download: Halmark Productions: Love is Where You Are

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The remainder of the EP contains the typical Halmark cheesiness, made even more unlistenable by a ridiculously trebly mix, one which hurts my ears at times. First up is a particularly bad lyrical construction called "Just a Tiny Bit of You", sung by the inevitable Jack Kim (although, as is true more often than not with this label, no one is identified as a performer on the label). This is set, by the way, to the backing track from Halmark's aforementioned version of "By the Time I Get to Phoenix".

 

Download: Halmark Productions: Just a Tiny Bit of You

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To my ears, the worst of the three "standard" Halmark tracks on this EP is the religiously themed "This is the Salvation Way" sung by Kim and his wife.

 

Download: Halmark Productions: This is the Salvation Way

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But for sheer ridiculousness, you CANNOT beat "When I Write to You", a song-poem about writing poems which contains some of the worst, simplistic lyrics I can ever recall hearing. Seriously: "Writing a letter is lots of fun, when I'm writing". And then there's the big build up to the last line, in which Jack Kim gives his all to excitedly sing what are among the least effective final six words of any song I've ever heard.  

 

Download: Halmark Productions: When I Write to You

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Rock... Rocking.... ALL THE TIME

Today, I am extremely happy to offer up the online debut of a song-poem which really should have been widely known before today. I hope you enjoy this record as much as I do. I don't normally post the same label or artist the same week (or even the same month), and didn't expect to be doing so this week. And even last Sunday, when I learned I had a lead on a copy of one of my all time favorite song-poems, I still didn't think I'd be sharing it, because I was sure it was already in common circulation. But a few days of research has convinced me that this record - one of my top ten favorite song-poems - has NEVER been shared online. I will therefore say that I don't know of a better song-poem that has not yet been heard by the general collecting song-poem public. And I must rush to rectify this situation. Most song-poem collectors - whether seekers of records or of MP3's and CD's, will know the flip side to this Noval release, which is "The 23rd Channel", and which is fabulous in its own right. It appeared on the third volume of the "MSR Madness" CD series, and was remade by Gene Merlino (Gene Marshall) for the film "Off the Charts". But here's what I don't understand - with all of the well-deserved attention given to this song, no one has ever shared its flip side, which is even better. . I would even name it as one of the strangest records I've ever heard, and yet one which encapsulates the song-poem experience in many ways - the odd lyrics, the off-the-cuff performance, the poor match of lyrics to music, the mystery of it all, and on and on.... I first heard this song on a tape, supplied to me by Phil Milstein (thank you, Phil!), well over a decade ago, and it moved to the top of my heap immediately. It's called "Rock, Rocking All the Time", and I hardly know where to begin in describing it. Perhaps with the lyrics, which beg us to not "blame" the singer for wanting to rock all the time, but then allows that this desire to rock all the time is how "everybody feels" (so why would we blame him?). "Oh La La, Oh, La, La, There They Go", is pretty good, too. Or there is the fact that the tune is set to a beat that is far from "rocking", being more suited to one of the slower numbers from the Swing Era. And of course, one of the instruments driving the piece is that most rocking of instruments, the Vibraphone. The vocalist really can't sing, which is not always a problem in real rock and roll, but his minimal ability is more in the area of "bad lounge singing", so even that doesn't fit. The whole thing adds up to a truly amazing performance, and it's capped off (hilariously, and incredulously, if you ask me), with a musical coda in which the band finally decides that they really are at a swing session, and go to town, with a big two bar solo for the vibraphone. It is impossible for me to overstate how much I love this record. I even love the fact that you can hear the end of the count-off at the start. If there were an Abbey Road of song-poems, this would be on it. I hope you find as much to love in this deeply peculiar record: 

Download: Noval Productions - Rock, Rocking All the Time

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For completeness sake, and for those who may not have it, here is the almost-as-deeply-magical flip side, "The 23rd Channel", heard here off of my new copy, not from the CD. You can also hear the end of a count-off on this side, and that's not heard on the CD release. This has to be in the running for the best Double A-sided song-poem release ever. I can only think of a couple of competitors, both of which featured songs by Edith Hopkins, who was not really your typical song-poet. So maybe I consider this the Hey Jude/Revolution of Song-Poem singles

Download: Noval Productions - The 23rd Channel

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The Reason I Search For Halmark Records

The "Car Crash" element to song-poems is one that is hit or miss for me. That very aspect which brings some people to the song-poem table doesn't interest me, at least as often as it does. 

A big exception is Halmark records, which are so completely removed from anything remotely resembling what was actually going on in music at the time (the mid 1970's) as to be completely mind boggling. At yet still, most Halmark records are a slog, for much the same reason. 

Then along comes a record like "Ten Miles From the Rockies", with its match of truly ridiculous lyrics, a setting of those lyrics which was never going to work (listen to the way the lyrics are shoe-horned in at times), and the downright bizarre choice to have the singer insert a "doo-doo-doo" verse in the middle of a lyric portraying a man who was clearly in no mood (or condition) to sing a "doo-doo-doo" verse. 

With that said, I'll let you discover the specific peculiarities of this record for yourself. Enjoy! 

Download: Halmark Productions - Ten Miles to the Rockies

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For the completests out there, here is the flip side, "Looking Glass":

Download: Halmark Productions - Looking Glass

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HORRIBLE!

The Halmark label (or, as it the logo sometimes appeared, "Hallmark") is unique among the song-poem companies in a few different ways.

First was their tendancy, on most of their releases, to not name the performer of the songs they released, and instead, to print the names and addresses of the authors of the songs. While that's not the case with the record pictured above, and shared today, it was usually the case.

Second, they bought existing multi-track tapes, stripped off the vocals, and had the Halmark singers sing the lyrics to the song-poems over these tracks. And they often used the same tracks over and over and over again. Often, it appears that the singers are shoe-horning the lyrics into the existing track, with virtually no attempt to either make the words scan correctly or to have the tune sound remotely good.

The whole story of Halmark, for those unfamiliar with it, is explained here, far better than I could ever hope to describe it.

I was lucky enough to find a Halmark 45 which had been sent to radio station, one which came complete with a note from Ted Rosen, the head of Halmark Records. Whoever listened to this record had excellent taste, as he or she made a point of attaching a label (as you can see above) marked "Horrible!!" to each side of the 45. And yet someone kept it.

Here is the letter from Ted Rosen:

Another interesting thing about this record is that both sides are credited to Bob Storm, one of the three singers whose work makes up the bulk of the vocals on Halmark's 1970's 45's. A quick listen to "The Tall Grass and Wild Wild Weeds" will immediately throw doubt on the notion that Mr. Storm is the vocalist:

Download: Labeled as Bob Storm - The Tall Grass and Wild Wild Weeds

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However, I've no doubt he is the vocalist on the flip side, which is called "Their Destiny", and which is easily my favorite of the two. I just wish I could be with each of you, in front of your respective computers, as you hear the first notes of Bob Storm's vocal, and as you hear his stirring tribute to "great men, of various hues":

Download: Bob Storm - Their Destiny

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Perhaps Not the Worst Thing I've Ever Heard On a Vanity Record...

...but it's fairly close. Here are both sides of a record by Mr. Cal Andrews. I know virtually nothing about this, aside from the fact that it was released on Ink Records. I assume it was a vanity project, but I could be wrong. This was floating around in cyberspace one recent day, and I reached out and grabbed it. I got it just in time: the next day, the download was gone. 

The A side is titled "Sundown at Sea". I'm particularly fascinated by the drumming on this track: 

Download: Cal Andrews - Sundown at Sea

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The B side, my personal favorite of the two, is "O Sing to Me". On this track, what most catches my ear, even beyond the mind numbing singing, is the bass player, who appears to be under the impression that he is in a different song altogether: 

Download: Cal Andrews - O Sing to Me

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My younger daughter shares my tastes. She was in the room when I opened and played "O Sing to Me" for the first time. She asked if she could have it on her iPod.... 

More song-poems coming on Thursday!

O Holy Night

There really is no competition, as far as I'm concerned, for the best or most beautiful Christmas song. Far and away, that vote goes to "Silent Night". By the same token, there's no race for second place, either. That one is "O Holy Night", which is well above all the others, apart from the one at # 1. 

Here are two unusual versions of "O Holy Night", both of which I love. First up, The Christmas Jug Band. I've enjoyed several tracks by this group, more often than not, because of the involvement of Dan Hicks, surely one of the greatest singers I've heard. But here, in my favorite of their tracks, it's not Hicks' singing on display. And anyway, in any version of this song, the song itself needs to be the focus, as it surely is here. 

And what a singularly marvelous piece of work this is. Start with this great song, and apply a wonderfully loose, folky arrangement, with altered (but still wholly appropriate) lyrics here and there, sung by a cadre of folks who sound like they might be trying out this arrangement for the first time. It’s just that free and joyful. And then there’s a perfect recorder solo, and when the vocals come back, there are two magical moments on the word “divine”, where the three main singers hit a major triad as if the whole song had been waiting for them to get there. This is on my very short list of the best Christmas records ever made, and one I’ll never get tired of. 

Download: The Christmas Jug Band - O Holy Night

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In a completely different direction, I offer up Ellis Chadbourne, a singer I was introduced to by my friend Citizen Kafka, a man I have subsequently lost touch with. Also offering up rewritten text, in this case significantly so, to remove all Christian references, Mr. Chadbourne instead is seeking for a Holy Night in which the Bomb has been banned, and peace reigns over the Earth. 

This (and all of Mr. Chadbourne's work) tends to be quite divisive - either you "get it" or you don't. It was a early moment of bonding between me and Citizen Kafka when I focused in on Chadbourne's material as the real heart, the key material within what he had shared with me. 

Yes, some say he can't sing, and/or even that this is painful to listen to. I won't disagree with anyone about taste, and I recognize that there is one howler of a note here. 

But I will disagree (and have, quite forcefully) with those who have said there is nothing to "get" - there is a passion, a life-affirming spirit captured in Ellis Chadbourne's records, particularly this one, which gives me chills. When he gets to "O Night Divine", and seems at the very top of his range, it takes my breath away - and yet then, I realize there is a higher note yet to come - will he make it? When he reaches that note, just at the end, I feel I am hearing a man singing directly to God, and I rarely can hear this track without tearing up.

Download: Ellis Chadbourne - O Holy Night

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(Addendum, 11/30/21: See the comments, below. Citizen Kafka reached out to me, via the comments, to try and reconnect, and to tell me of an then-upcoming Ellis Chadbourne CD compilation. Sadly, Citizen Kafka died just a few weeks after making that post, and as far as I can tell, that CD compilation was never produced.)

John Cleese Sings!

During an interview many years ago, on David Letterman's show, John Cleese told the story of his first work in America, as a chorus singer on Broadway, as I recall. The point of his story was that he cannot sing, and although he managed to get the job anyway, he more or less pretended to be singing throughout the length of the job. 

As a result of having hearing that story, I was quite surprised to hear the following selection, which I've excerpted from an episode of the long running BBC-Radio comedy show, "I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again", which featured Cleese before, throughout and after the run of Monty Python, during its mid-'60's to mid-'70's run. 

On the other hand, I was not surprised at the quality of Cleese's singing or of the opening joke, "Anybody should be singing it but John Cleese". I hope you enjoy Mr. Cleese singing his heart out on "The Ferret Song". 

Download: John Cleese - The Ferret Song

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I Love a Mystery

Anyone who knows me probably knows I love a good musical mystery. My passion for an album called "Musical Memories of Camp Bryn Afon" led not only to a post at the original 365 days project, but an entire privately reissued release of the album as a CD. And for the last few years, I've updated my discoveries about Merigail Moreland, both at WFMU's blog and in this blog. 

Recently, I had the chance to listen to virtually every song which made the Billboard Hot 100 chart in 1957. I love that era of music, and came across dozens of tracks I hadn't heard before, and which I either loved immediately or am growing to love. But one of the standouts, for me, was a record which may not cause the same reaction among the majority of listeners. 

Perhaps it's old news among other collectors and music obsessives like me, but this record, "That's All I Want From You" by The Silva-Tones, is not quite like anything else I've ever heard. It starts with fairly odd doo-wop vocalizing - "chu-wah-wah", which leads into what sounds like a harmonium. Whatever that instrument is, it dominates the few other instruments on the record, which is bathed in the degree of reverb that Stan Freberg liked to make fun of. 

I already had that "deer in the headlights" feeling before the lead singer even started. And when he did, the bizarre quotient went way, way up. Sounding like a demented version of Robin Gibb (several years before the Bee Gees made any records, of course), with inflections and pronunciations that only added to the weirdness, this vocalist had me completely in his power. I find his voice, by turns, deeply moving and then completely ridiculous, and back again.

For the last few weeks, I've barely let a day go by without listening to this record, and saying one version or another of "what the hell"? On the one hand, it seems sort of like a car crash, but on the other hand, there is something about that greatly appeals to me. I've been able to find out almost nothing about this group, and my Joel Whitburn Hot 100 book doesn't say anything about the group either. 

Here it is, hope you enjoy it! Anyone with information about this group or this recording is encouraged to offer comment:

Download: The Silva-Tones - That's All I Want From You

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That's Rock and Roll

I think that sometimes I go on too long about the recordings I'm sharing here, so today, I'll just say that I'm offering up a classic by a lost father (or perhaps brother) of Rock and Roll, Mr. Barry Gordon, and his classic MGM release "Rock Around Mother Goose". Rock Me Another, Barry!

Download: Barry Gordon - Rock Around Mother Goose

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Guessing Game

I have no real clue how many folks are reading the these posts, but I wanted to involve as many people as possible by asking you to guess the recording act heard on this record. Comments are always welcome, and can be shared by clicking on the comment button at the bottom of any post. 

Anyway... The Golden Age of Novelty Records (roughly 1956 through the late 1960's) is, in my opinion, well named. There is a virtually endless list of funny, odd, and downright peculiar records from that era, hits, near hits and obscurities, that were made in order to deliberately make people laugh, become confused and/or collapse into bewilderment.

Certainly a favorite of mine from that era is Rolf Harris' "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport". It was a massive hit, one of the bigger hits of any genre in 1963, and like most novelty records, would seem to be the type of thing that wouldn't really work well as a cover record or remake. 

Novelty songs as different in style and quality as "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Ha", "Witch Doctor", "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah" "My Boomerang Won't Come Back" and "Tie Me Kangaroo Down" are all so unique, and uniquely tied in with their creators that to have made another version, particularly while the song was still a hit, seems ludicrous. 

But here we have just such a cover version. I would never have expected this song to be covered, and I never would have expected this recording act to have done such a record. The charm of the original is completely lost in this overblown version, with it's sound effects, unnecessary additional shout outs, such as "in memoriam", and the sheer incompetence shown by the singing of the line "watch me wallaby's feed" as "watch me wallaby's feet".

Anyway, let's play guess who made the record. Here 'tis:

Download: Mystery Artist - Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport

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ADDENDUM, 2021 - The answer has long since been in the comments, below. Did you guess him? 

You Know How Soft It Can Be

I may be virtually alone in this preference, but "The Ballad of John and Yoko" has been on my list of the best half-dozen Beatles songs for as long as I've been listening to the Beatles. At times, I've listed it as my favorite of the entire Beatles canon. 

So how could I possibly fail to share with the assembled multitude this first rate cover version of this wonderful tune, performed, of course, by The Percy Faith Strings.

Download: The Percy Faith Strings - The Ballad of John and Yoko

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A Thoroughly Unpleasant Man

And here is "I Ain't Changin'" by Jamie Marlowe. Now, here we have the real "difficult listening" file. 

I don't recall where I got this record, and at some point it went into the "stack of records to listen to when I get a chance". First time I heard it has to have been close to 20 years ago, if not more, but I've never forgotten it. I immediately had both the song title and the name of the "artist" seared into my memory. 

I hope this was a vanity pressing, because if someone actually released this as a money-making venture on a "real record label", they were probably better off in another buisness. The annoying qualities of Mr. Marlowe's performance are matched by the wretchedness both of the lyrics and of the person those lyrics describe. 

To whoever drew the big "X" on the record label: it was richly deserved. Ick. On the other hand, as I said, I've never quite forgotten this record either, and now, perhaps, it can infect you, too. Tell me what you think!

Download: Jamie Marlowe - I Ain't Changin'

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Cool Yourself Off!

Just in time for summer, I'm sharing a little known, ridiculous novelty song from the early 1960's (one which came out on a major label, no less - Warner Brothers!), called "Beer Beer Bottla Beer" by A.C. Ducey. 

I first heard this song on the Dr. Demento show around 1980, it immediately went into heavy rotation on my home playlist; I spent the next 20 years looking for a copy, finally securing one on eBay a few years ago. 

I don't actually drink beer, finding it quite vile, thank you, but that doesn't stop this record from being one of my all time favorite records. That's not Thurl Ravenscroft singing, but for more than a moment one might think it is, even though I now suspect that the vocal has been slowed down for effect. And as one might have gathered, I'm a sucker for an eccentric bass vocal performance. 

There is so much to love here, from the double tracked vocals, which start and stop more or less at random, to the understated arrangement, to the minimilist lyrics ("whattaya mean, wait'll next year" being my favorite moment), to the clinking of beer bottles as the instrumental sections begin. 

I can't imagine a way this record could be improved! I hope this will become one of your favorite songs, too, whether you enjoy beer or not.

Download: A. C. Ducey - Beer Beer Bottla Beer

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ADDENDUM, 1/22/23: My best pal Stu has demonstrated, by speeding up this record a few keys, that you can then tell quite well that you're hearing the singer's natural voice in that higher key. This confirms that the recording was slowed down for effect and that it's also clearly not Thurl Ravenscroft. 

Pinky is a Loser

Hot off the turntable, it's a pair of fabulous recordings by Pinky Pinkston and the Dixie Drifters, two sides of the one 45. This has long been one of my favorite "way out there" record releases, one I've always figured to have been a vanity pressing, especially given the two addresses on the label, one in Chicago and one in rural Illinois.

On the other hand, I've recently learned that there exists at least one other Pinky Pinkston release, one which has been anthologized in the past, in a collection put together by Wavy Gravy, of all people, so many Pinky had some sort of musical career.

Such a concept is hard to fathom based on this record. This easily ranks at the bottom among the worst records in my collection (particularly when soul-challenged artistes as such Tony Martin, Fabian, Jay and the Americans, Benny Mardones, Yes, AC/DC and Billy Ocean are removed from consideration for "The Awfulness Awards", and are entered into the (sadly) far more competitive "Horrid But Successful Hitmakers Awards").

Yes, there are few obscure records in my collection which are more cringe inducing than Pinky's song "I Am A Loser", although one of the songs which is even worse is "Beggar Or A Clown", which is conveniently located on the other side of the record, and which also, just like "Loser", features a ferret being tortured, or perhaps that's Pinky's voice. I've yet to be able to make out every last word of these lyrics, due to the unique delivery of the lead singer. If my clock radio alarm were to switch on, and a radio station was playing either of these songs at that moment, I have no doubt whatsoever that I would be positively scared out of my wits.

There's something to be said for the random way that the "I Am a Loser" starts up, and the way that the band members sometimes seem to be playing different songs at the same time, but it is on "Beggar or a Clown" where the true incompetence shows up. Once it gets going, in addition to the spectacularly bad vocal, every now and then, the drummer pounds a bit harder, as if he's suddenly playing a polka, and the guitar solo at the end seems to be made up of almost randomly picked notes. Then the song simply comes to a stop, first with the guitarist deciding he's done, then with the drummer offering a final downbeat.

Perhaps you've noticed a lack of gender identification, on my part, for the Pinkster. Well, I was recently amused to discover, after years of enjoying this record with one of my oldest friends, that he (my friend) had always assumed that Pinky was of one particular (and marvelous) gender, while I had always thought of Pinky as the other (equally fabulous) gender.

I'll let the readers/listeners have a bit of fun listening (I certainly shouldn't be the only one to have the rare chance to listen to this record any time I want), and offer up their guesses as to whether Pinky is/was a lady or a gentleman. Please do tell!

I have no memory whatsoever of when or where it was that I came across this record, but given that the Chicago address on the label is not far from a highway I take every few days, the aforementioned friend and I went to that address one day, and found a rather upscale apartment in the Lincoln Park neighborhood, where the listing on the door did not show any sign of anyone named "Pinkston".

Download: Pinky Pinkston and the Dixie Drifters - I Am a Loser

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Download: Pinky Pinkston and the Dixie Drifters - Beggar or a Clown

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ADDENDUM, 2/22: I have long since learned that (as also confirmed in the comments) Pinky's name was Joseph Pinkston, and, of course, was male. I've also obtained several more records and sound files by Pinky, including a few that I actually find compelling and enjoyable, and I later posted those here. 

Must Be the Wooden Shoes....

Today, I am sharing the contents of a little acetate I found somewhere or other about 15 years ago, a violin performance of "Dutch Dance", recorded in 1952 by one Walter Feiss (well, that's actually a guess - I suppose there could have been two Walter Feisses trading off phrases, but I doubt it).

While I won't deny that this record is part of the "Difficult Listening Hour", I treasure anything like this record, whenever I'm lucky enough to come across one. I must have hundreds of home recorded records from the golden age of home record cutters (1940's and 1950's). Some of recordings of other records, many have recordings off of the radio, and many more (the ones I am really looking for) have some sort of home recording, either audio records or musical performances. For some reason, this one has always stood out as a favorite of mine. Let me know what you think.

Download: Walter Feiss - Dutch Dance

Play:

It's "Getting Hit on the Head" Lessons in Here.....

So far, I've offered up records that, however odd they may be, I also find marvelous through and through - musically, emotionally, intangibly, etc.

But now, I've chosen to write (and not for the last time, I'm sure) about a record I love primarily because of its complete and total weirdness. As you can no doubt tell from the above, this is a kids record, one which I can recall being in my possession (or perhaps it was my brother's, first), as far back as I can remember. (As always, it's available at the gmail site, linked to the left, with the instructions at the top of this screen.)

Several records from my childhood collection will no doubt make their way to this forum, and there were plenty of them that I thought were weird (and a few I considered scary), even in early childhood. But this was weirder than most of the others. For one thing, it's FIFTY FOUR SECONDS LONG!!! It's the whole side of the single, and it times out at well under a minute! I can literally see the spaces between the groove as it moves towards the center of the record.

Just as odd is the performance of the song. First, there is the fact that (to me, at least), it sounds like we join the song in progress, almost in mid-breath of the singer, and certainly after some sort of music has already been played.

Then there is the deeply weird lead vocal, the overly peppy chorus, singing in such jolly spirits about being conked on the head (I particularly like the happy way they sing "He's a grouch", which is repeated three times), and the wacky sound effects. Not unheard of in kids records, but the feel of this one is sort of different, and the sudden ending just makes it weirder.

In addition, although the singer is presumably a cartoon character, singing about an occurance which is not uncommon for cartoon characters, I have no clue who he's supposed to be. Most of the kids records I've ever seen, if they are in character, have the name of that cartoon personality on the label, whether it's "Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Green Jeans sing..." or "Popeye Sings....". But this one is by "Don Elliot and the Cartoon Cowboys".

This last point sent me, quite recently, for some answers. There is a famous Don Elliot, who is apparently primarily known as a jazz trumpet player, but who is also listed as a vocal talent in some searches, and was one of the hipsters behind the Chipmunks-meet-Bebop project "The Nutty Squirrels", in late 1959. So I'll assume this is the same guy.

But I still don't know what the hell led to this record, or who it was that listened to it and said something along the lines of, "yup, that's perfect - that'll be GREAT for our next kids' 45"...