Uggy Pugs I Have Done

I wonder if Phil Celia came to Tin Pan Alley thinking of himself as a serious vocalist, capable of great singing and hoping to be given wonderful things to perform. If that was the case, he must have been sorely disappointed, given that he ended up singing such classics as "Moaning and Groaning Twist", "I'm Sorry I Put On Charlie's Shoes", "It Butch the Rough Barber Man Shaves Castro", "A Fat Man in a Compact Car", "Tin Cans, Tin Cans, Tin Cans", "You Made a Boo Boo, Lula", and of course, "Keep On Smiling! Pay Your Taxes!", nearly all of which can be found on this site by plugging them into the box at above left (or just clicking on the Phil Celia tag below this post). I think only one or two of them got posted to the now defunct WFMU blog, rather than this site. 

Poor Phil. He landed at Tin Pan Alley during one of those periods when they seemed to have been attracting lunkheads who thought they were funny, or at best, people who wanted to have something goofy recorded for them. Today, Phil is "Doin' the Uggy Pug"

Like a lot of Phil's records from this era, this song is set to the backing of a three piece jazz combo. The lyrics describe a dance style unlike any you've ever heard, with mixture of things people don't generally (or ever) do while dancing ("He hunches over with a razzle bristle back" "he slithers like a python") and phrases that are not explained, but seem to be dance moves ("She gives the cat's meow" "<she acts> like a cat upon a track" - huh?). I'm also not aware of eagles listening to music as the fly away. 

Looking over that list, one thing that pops out at me is that the brain-trust at Tin Pan Alley usually actually did a good job, and sometimes an excellent job, of tying music styles and arrangements to the goofy words they had received. That wasn't so often true of other labels. 

Download: Phil Celia - Doin' the Uggy Pug

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The flip side is named "Orbit Rhythm", and this is apparently another dance move song, although there are far fewer directions at how to do the "Orbit" than there were for doing the "Uggy Pug". The drummer is doing some fun stuff with his sticks and the pianist on these records is never less than steady and professional, but I don't get much from this one. 

Download: Phil Celia - Orbit Rhythm

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Bobbin', Rockin' and Beboppin'

 Hello, 

Before we get to today's feature, a bit of housekeeping. Regarding my last post, about Lt. Calley, I received a nice note back from Jason Brummer, of The Vietnam War Song Project, who offered up a correction. I had directed folks to see # 36 on that list, for a posting about the Gene Marshall record I was featuring. However, it turns out that the song-poet submitted both songs on that record twice, with the Calley song actually having different lyrics each time. The song I posted is on Jason's list, but it is at # 77. 

Also, I encourage you to visit that same post, and read the comments from "Doctor Future", who linked to yet another Calley record (as well as to a song about sewers exploding). 

Finally, Sammy Reed dropped by to explain that he has closed down his blogspot site, which I have linked to many times, and which is in my feebly small links box. He has opened a new site, and has promised to re-populate it with many of the records from the old site, but, sadly, none of the links in my previous posts will now work. I have changed the link in the links box to his current site, and encourage everyone to check it out!

And now, on with the countdown:

~~

I think today's first tune is a lot of fun, and hope you do, too. 

But first, to understand today's record, you must first be familiar with a 1920's hit song called "When the Red, Red Robin Comes Bob, Bob, Bobbin' Along". It was a hit in 1926, and again in 1953. A knock of of the 1953 hit was produced for Little Golden Records, and that's the version I grew up being familiar with. 

Well, in 1961, a song-poet decided to update the story, spelling the word "Robin" wrong in the process (unless that was the fault of the person who put the label together), and giving us "The Red Robbin Ain't Bobbin' No Mo'" And lucky us, it was assigned to Tin Pan Alley's Phil Celia, who made far more than his share of oddities during his time with the label. 

For exactly 90 seconds, our song-poet friend lets us know that the robin (sorry, the robbin) has moved on from his "Bobbin'" style and has embraced both Rock and Roll and Bebop - a dual move into two styles which had absolutely nothing in common, and which seems highly unlikely. But maybe birds (sorry, birrds) are more flexible in their musical genres than humans. 

Helpfully, the folks in the Tin Pan Alley band put together a backing track which contains no elements of Rock and Roll or Bebop. Or Bebbop 

Download: Phil Celia: The Red Robbin Ain't Bobbin' No Mo'

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I have nothing even remotely good to say about the tedium found on the flip side, "My Love Never Changes". This inexecrable slab is exactly one minute longer than "Bobbin", but seems about two years longer. Phil appears to be channeling the most unctuous and smarmy of Paul Anka then-contemporary performances, and that's really saying something. 

The opening two lines should give you an idea of the quality of the lyrics: 

My love never changes

My love stays the same

Well, as this seems to have been created as a sort of performance/proposal, I hope the writer's intended said yes. Or maybe "Yes, if you promise to never play that record again". 

Download: Phil Celia - My Love Never Changes

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Phil Is a Beat Off

I have a lovely treat for all of you today. Well, at least, it's a treat for me. It looks like this: 

As frequent readers of this site know, I love Calypso - whether the authentic model from the 1930's in Trinidad or the Americanized version from the mid-1950's - more than just about any genre of music that's ever existed. And Tin Pan Alley was active right in the middle of the Calypso boom of 1956-58. And as one of the few labels who actively sought to make their releases sound like the current trends, TPA released several calypso flavored singles during that time period. 

That includes today's 1957 model, which not only lifts the Calypso feel, but also makes reference to one of the biggest hits of the previous year, "Blue Suede Shoes". The track is "Off Beat Blues", and it features frequent label warbler Phil Celia doing his best (or perhaps worst) Caribbean accent. Please note that the lyricist for this number - I think it's Francis M. Kadolph - inscribed this copy with a signature and gave it to someone named Jack. I hope Jack enjoyed it as much as I do, as I think it's is wholly wonderful. 

Download: Phil Celia - Off Beat Blues. 

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The flip side is no slouch, either. In this case, Phil is joined by The Silver Tones, who only turn up on one other documented TPA release (and who are not to be confused with The Silva-Tones). The Silver Tones, presumably, are the chirpy singers who back Phil up here, and who clearly only knew how to sing one wordless phrase. The other TPA release featuring the Silver Tones - titled "Keep On Smiling! Pay Your Taxes!" can be heard here, and as you'll hear, they sing nearly the exact same part on that record! In this case, the guitarist and the pianist play the same chirpy pattern, when the girls aren't singing. Anyway, this is a fun side, as well, even though Phil sometimes seems to be imitating Paul Anka here, something that no one, should ever, ever do. . 

Download: Phil Celia and the Silver Tones - Too Late! 

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 Okay, today, I also have what I think is the last of the mash-ups I made in 2005 - at least the last one which will make sense to those of you out there (I also made a few using parts of Star Ads on top of each other, and using other private recordings that I own). 

Anyway, this one was pretty easy. I just took the entirity of The Beatles' "Wild Honey Pie" (well, it's actually Paul McCartney by himself), and added a looping of the drum intro from Adam Ant's "Goody Good Shoes", and labeled it "Two Shoe Pie". 

I'm not claiming any greatness or even anything special for this one, but as long as I was digging into the mash-ups, I thought I'd share what I had left. 

Download: The Beatles and Adam Ant - Two Shoe Pie (mash-up)

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Song-Poem Weather Forecast

Howdy, Good Buddies!

First, I want to do something I should do more often, and thank everyone for reading/listening, and particularly thank everyone who comments. I've received a bushel of comments in the last few months, to both the new posts, and (surprisingly) even more to the old, fixed posts that I link to in each new post. 

Thank you!!!

And we're in the home stretch of old posts! Today, I have corrected those posts for the end of the first year of this near-weekly song-poem feature, that being December of 2009. 

During that month, I featured a Christmassy post featuring Sammy Marshall (as "Bob Rule") AND Frank Perry, a nice Norm Burns entry, a brief post of Gene Marshall promoting a larger post at WFMU, and, on the next to last day of that year, a big Thank You post, featuring some of my favorite song poems that I didn't personally own physically (including a Norm Burns number which is perhaps my all time favorite song-poem), and cover versions I was involved in, of each of those four song-poems, three of them performed live and one a studio remake. Some of the files shared in that post, as well as the Gene Marshall one, are a bit redundant now, having subsequently been shared elsewhere, but I thought I'd rebuild that post anyway. 

And now, with extreme weather in the news from seemingly nearly everywhere in the United States, here's a bit of extreme weather none of the states are currently dealing with: 

I am always - ALWAYS - in the mood to share some Phil Celia. And what a ridiculous record he made for us to hear today. The song-poet in question had one simple concern on his or her mind - an approaching blizzard. The writer of "There's a Blizzard in Kansas", despite clearly being worked up about this weather situation, didn't actually have a lot to say about it, submitting a set of only eight lines, and the last two of them were simply a repeat of the first two. 

The good people at Tin Pan Alley had a fix for this, though. They set it to a march beat. They realized that it was approximately 1964, and therefore hired someone to play a trombone solo, which were all the rage in 1964. They didn't worry about it when said trombone player flubbed a note, and filled in the break with both the trombone and bit of piano. Then they had Phil sing the exact same two brief verses before and after the instrumental break. 

Voilà. Song-Poem Masterpiece. 

Download: Phil Celia - There's a Blizzard in Kansas

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The flip side, "Dollar to a Dime", finds Phil in supper-club mode, with a song about how sure he is that he will kiss the person he's singing to. Heard with 2021 ears, I picture the object of his affection having quite a "Me Too" moment in reaction to the ham-fisted tone - specifically, his assuredness about the rightness of his intentions and about how much the lucky lady will appreciate it, and him. 

Download: Phil Celia - Dollar to a Dime

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Hilly-Dilly Billie (With a Rainbow Twist)

Good evening!

As my ongoing repairs to the earlier posts at this site continue, today, I can announce that I have fixed all four posts from October of 2014, which together feature a whopping eleven song poems. These include a Norm Burns number, Three songs from a Star-Crest album, a Brosh EP and a Rod Rogers special. 

And now...

One of the few things I've found I can truly count on in this song-poem collecting game is this: If i find a Phil Celia record which features a ridiculous title, it's going to be a winner. A quick listen through my previous Phil Celia postings will prove this to be the case. (Note - several of the links within those posts are not yet repaired.)

Today's feature is no exception. I have no idea what "Hilly Dilly Billie (with a Rainbow Twist)" meant to the song-poet, but the combination of that song's lyrics and Tin Pan Alley's minimalist version of Rock and Roll (which to my ears owes more than a bit to supper club combo music), results in something eminently listenable and very enjoyable. Phil never gives any indication that he knows what he's singing is ridiculous, as he (as always) gives the song and the lyric his all.

Download: Phil Celia - Hilly-Dilly Billie (with a Rainbow Twist)
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That is not to say that everything Phil Celia (let alone Tin Pan Alley) touched was turned to gold. "The Night is Beautiful", on the flip side, is almost the quintessential dull, uninspired song-poem lyric and equally creativity-free setting.

Download: Phil Celia - The Night is Beautiful
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Two Very Different Sides of Phil Celia

Phil Celia was one of the good ones. Playing back the songs of his which I've posted here (and to WFMU) is one way of compiling a song-poem greatest hits collection. Just a review of those song titles brings a smile to my face: "Moaning and Groaning Twist", "A Fat Man in a Compact Car", "If Butch the Rough Barber Man Shaves Castro", "I'm Sorry I Put On Charlie's Shoes" (admittedly, most of these are in the dead zone of my site, where I still need to go back in and replace the files).

"Couldn't Be True is not, perhaps, at that level, but it's still a fun, night-clubby style record with a lounge-lizard lead vocal, and a fine addition to the Phil Celia collection.

Download: Phil Celia - Couldn't Be True
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Then, on the other hand, there is "She Kissed Me in a Dream", which is certainly the most ponderous, deadly track I remember hearing from dear ol' Phil. Rarely, apart from Halmark and Noval releases, has three minutes seemed to stretch out so long. (In fact, this sort of sounds like a Noval track to me.) And I'm a big fan of over-the-top echo when it's in the service of something raucous or ridiculous, but in this setting, he just sounds like he's singing in a sewer pipe, and the slow setting plays up some of his vocal limitations.

Download: Phil Celia - She Kissed Me in a Dream
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Moaning and Groaning!

Who among us would find out that there was a song-poem record containing songs titled "Moaning and Groaning Twist" and "Wanted for Murder!" and not fervently hope that at least one of them lived up to the promise of its title? I certainly did, and was happy to obtain a copy to hold in my own little hands.

And both of them turn out to be worth the price of admission, with "Moaning and Groaning Twist" taking the top prize, for my money.

Let's start with the fact that, in barely two minutes, the song features not one, but TWO bass solos! Then, after the first of these solos, singers Phil Celia and Ellen Wayne come in, singing in lovely harmony over a heavily rhythmic track, with some great drumming and a nice (and lengthy) piano break. The lyrics are concerned with some intense twisting which was taking place in New Orleans - Ellen in particular seems to be really feelin' it - and the whole package is just first rate from start to finish.

Download: Phil Celia and Ellen Wayne - Moaning and Groaning Twist
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Phil's got a solo number on the flip side, in "Wanted for Murder!". The lazy beat, and laid back vocal may throw the listener off at first, until you get to the point of the lyric - what it is that the singer is said to have killed, and why. It's not as clever, in my opinion, as I'm guessing that the lyricist thought it was, but it's still good for a smile.

Download: Phil Celia - Wanted for Murder!
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And just as an aside, this record further confirms to me that, if I had been a song-poet in the late '50's or early '60's, Tin Pan Alley would have been the place to submit my lyrics. They received the most interesting lyrics during that period, and did the most interesting things with them.

Starting the Year Right!

Happy New Year!!!

And what better way to kick off the new year than with some of the typical weirdness I've come to expect when I see the artist credit of "Phil Celia" on the old time Tin Pan Alley label.

The song title is enough to draw one in "A Fat Man in a Compact Car", and the song doesn't disappoint. Set to what at first sounds like a march beat, it's actually (to my ears) styled as a Lou Monte styled Italian novelty, although largely minus the ethnic accent. The words do the title justice, too, with the following couplet being perhaps the high point:

"If You're Obese

You Need Some Grease..."

The ending is a spectacular failure - clearly, Phil and the band have two different ideas of how the repetition of the final lines was supposed to work.

Download: Phil Celia - A Fat Man in a Compact Car
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On the flip side, we find one of the shortest song-poems I've ever heard or seen on a 45 RPM single (I think the magnificent Joe Stantan performance of "A Has-Been" may be shorter, but that was on an EP).

This song, on the other hand, is the only thing on this side of the record, and it runs 75 seconds (the entire 45, including both songs, runs three minutes, ten seconds - I bet that's a record!).

We've got the same 6/8 rhythm here, only in a higher key, and definitely a march beat in this case. The lyricist actually squeezed in quite a bit of information (and a moment of casual racism) into his brief creation. And the last three seconds are worth the price of admission!

Download: Phil Celia - Sharecropper's Share

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Make Those Dishes Dance!

A Belated Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrated it yesterday, and a more belated wish of the same to those who celebrated it in October.

My guess is that more dishes are washed across the United States on Thanksgiving than on any other day of the year. And in honor of that supposition, here is an absolutely marvelous song-poem titled "Dance of the Dishes", from our friends at Tin Pan Alley, and led by the enthusiastic Lillian Mars, a record which is compilation worthy as far as I'm concerned.

I don't know what it was about Tin Pan Alley - maybe the places that they chose to advertise? - but they certainly seem to have had more than their share of genuinely witty or at least humor-enhanced writers who took part in their little scam. This is a prime example - with everything from the fork complaining of not being able to dance, due to his "four feet" to the bewitching soup bowls - and the tiny three piece combo is lead by a pianist who is clearly having just as much fun as the vocalist is, with this material. A first-rate winner.

Download: Lilian Mars - Dance of the Dishes
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I do not, unfortunately, have anything so complimentary to say about the flip side of this disc, a turgid, badly sung number called "Paradise Valley", in which Lillian Mars is joined by label favorite Phil Celia.

Download: Lillian Mars and Phil Celia - Paradise Valley
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Dimples!

Computer problems have delayed today's feature long enough, so I'm not going to type a lot and add to the delay. Suffice it to say that it's another great, winning Tin Pan Alley entry from Phil Celia, with that early rock and roll sound that he was not really all that suited for, singing about a girl nicknamed "Dimples"! 

Download: Phil Celia - Dimples

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From the flip side, here's a more middle-of-the-road offering, "The Prairie Wind":

Download: Phil Celia - The Prairie Wind

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Lulu's Boo Boo

Let me just say - I love Phil Celia! Or at least his records. I love the offbeat lyrics received by the song-poem factory at Tin Pan Alley, I love the Latin tinged, piano based tracks that were often used for his releases on the label, and I love the 1950's sincerity of his vocals. Today's big hit, "You Made a Boo Boo, Lulu" is no exception. And I don't know if this was song-poem Frances Gibson's idea or not, but the responding, coy female voice is a perfect addition. And let's not forget that Lulu's boo-boo, the thing for which callous Phil is dropping her, and taunting her with the fact that he will now marry someone else was.... going out and having various degrees of fun when PHIL WAS LATE. Way to turn your own mistake around and blame the woman, dude! 

Download: Phil Celia: You Made a Boo Boo, Lulu

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A more standard 1950's offering, "Honey Bee, Honey Bee, Honey Bee" graces the flip side:

Download: Phil Celia: Honey Bee, Honey Bee, Honey Bee

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Phil 'Er Up!

I haven't offered up nearly enough of Phil Celia's records here. I think they are, in their own way, just as unique and interesting in sound and performance as Rod Rogers Film City records or Norm Burns Sterling label releases. Here's an ideal example, a song-poem containing the clunky title of "Let Me Baby, Sit With You, Baby Mine". A nice swing combo provides the fast moving backing, while Phil offers up a winning vocal. A nice piano solo follows, then, this being a song poem, there's a nice little error, in which the band and the singer clearly had different ideas about how many times Phil was going to sing the final phrase, with the band heading for the end of the song before he gets there. No second takes in the song-poem world.

Download: Phil Celia - Let Me Baby, Sit With You, Baby Mine
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I had great hopes for the flip side, given the title "Riding with the Bar 2 Queen". There is some real weirdness here - the lyrics are fairly odd, and have put to a tune in which they simply do not scan. But the actual song and performance turns out a little bit to drony and morose sounding for my tastes. Your mileage, of course, may vary: 

Download: Phil Celia - Riding With the Bar 2 Queen
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Charlie's Shoes

I've tried to avoid featuring any one label too frequently, but am making an exception today. Even though I have already featured Tin Pan Alley this month, this one just came my way, and I'm too enamored of it to wait to share it. 

Seeing the names of each side of this record, I knew that either one of them (or both) could be a killer of a weird, wonderful number. What would you think, upon seeing "Tin Cans, Tin Cans, Tin Cans" and "I'm Sorry I Put on Charlie's Shoes" as the potential hit tunes on this double A-sider? Especially with the extraordinary Phil Celia doing the vocals on each? (I've featured Phil Celia a few times both here and in my WFMU posts. I encourage you to seek out those previous posts, as Celia's other offerings are also excellent, deeply weird records.) 

 In my opinion, the winner of the blue ribbon is "Charlie's Shoes". It's got a peppy setting, a nice combo backing, and some truly peculiar lyrics, which are fairly well locked into the 1950's setting into which they were born. 

Download: Phil Celia - I'm Sorry I Put On Charlie's Shoes

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That's not to say that "Tin Cans" isn't also in the running. It's got a downright odd melodic setting (although it's also one I've had trouble getting out of my head), a jazzy feeling, and some more deeply idiosyncratic lyrics (I, for one, have never thought of tin cans as being lonely). 

Plus, it features a solo (a very nice one, too) played on an instrument that I'm pretty sure I've never heard given a solo on a song-poem record before. I'll let you discover the details of that magic yourself.

Download: Phil Celia - Tin Cans, Tin Cans, Tin Cans

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CalypSong-Poem

Today's song-poem offerings come from two labels which are not featured as often as others, when song-poems are a compiled, shared or discussed. In the case of both these labels, it appears they released song-poems, legit singles and vanity recordings. I am sure today's first offering is a song poem, and am not quite as sure to which world the second one begins.

First is a record on the Tin Pan Alley label. Tin Pan Alley dated back earlier than most of the song-poem labels which get more attention, and released enough legit or borderline legit records to have been the subject of an anthology of their "best doo-wop records", although whether that CD is, itself, legit, is anyone's guess. They soon moved into the song-poem game full time, and produced some of the weirdest records I've heard from the genre, including "It's Spring", which I recently featured here. Today's featured record comes from the earlier years of the label, however.

And this one seems made just for me, as it combines the song-poem concept with perhaps my favorite genre of music, Calypso. Phil Celia, previously heard on this site performing the classic "Atom Dynomic Dance", here tries his hand at "If Mama's and Papa's Would Stay At Home". Views reflected in this song-poem do not necessarily reflect those of the management: 

Download: Phil Celia - It Mama's and Papa's Would Stay At Home

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Next up is a favorite from the Fable label. This label seems to have been all over the map. I have vanity pressings, novelty records, and song-poems on Fable, and I've seen early rock and roll and doo-wop from the label go for hundreds of dollars on eBay. Whether today's feature was an attempt at an actual country hit or a song-poem is a mystery to me. It does feature label head Sandy Stanton doing the music, but so do some of the label's legit releases. Whatever it is, you're not likely to hear anything else quite like it today. Enjoy Little Donnie Lane with "Go Away":

Download: Little Donnie Lane - Go Away

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RATE A RECORD!!!!

Today I'm sharing three of my newest 45 rpm acquisitions. All three come from labels associated with the song-poem field, but I suspect that only one, and perhaps two, of the three. are technically song-poem records. 

That one I'm sure is a song-poem, is "Atom Dynomic Dance" by that man about town, Phil Celia. One doesn't come across a twist styled record suggesting a dance based on an atom bomb explosion every day. Not only the words strike me as some amateur's attempt to clever, but the fact that the melody (at least as sung by Mr. Celia) doesn't quite fit the chord changes, tells me that this wasn't designed to be promoted as an actual hit. The Tin Pan Alley label on the record helps, too. And is "Dynomic" even a word? Okay, everybody! "Let's Go Boom and Mushroom, Let's Be an Atom Blast...!" 

Download: Phil Celia - Atom Dynomic Dance

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Next up is Barney Spencer and the Vellaires, on the Vellez label. I have only a few records on this label, and each of them is odd in its own unique way. This is just a cute little song, pushed over that line between fun and really fun by the singer's Scandinavian accent. I have a suspicion that this one - "Beginner's Luck" - was a vanity release, but I could be wrong.

Download: Barney Spencer and the Vellaires - Beginner's Luck

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And then there is "Shakespeare Rock", by the Eligibles. Records on the sometimes song-poem related label Fable never cease to amaze me, whether they are song-poems or not. The lyrics of this one strike me as far too knowingly ironic, and it also seems too well arranged, musically, to be a throwaway song-poem. Plus, the flip side was a cover of a minor hit song. I suspect this record was meant as a deliberate joke, and whether I'm right or not, it sure as hell makes me laugh. It's well done, all the way around. I'll let you discover its charms yourselves.

Download: The Eligibles - Shakespeare Rock

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Comments welcomed and greatly appreiciated!