Define "Real". Define "Pros"

 Before getting to this week's offering, I wanted to ask if anyone is having trouble downloading files. Two people that read my other blog have reported that when they try to download the files they get an error message saying "od.lk". I am unable to reproduce this downloading from any of my pages, and I am about as far from a computer expert as one can get, so I don't know the solution. This is apparently a problem with the site I use (Opendrive), but I can't find a solution, or even reproduce the issue. Is anyone having this issue, and does anyone know how to fix it? 

~~

Next, here is another vintage song-poem ad - for this one, the address to write to appears to have been cut off, so I have no idea what the company might have been. There is a claim that the song-writer of the hit "Boots and Saddles" will compose your music - there seem to have been a few hits with that phrase in the title, but I'm not sure which one it refers to. 

And now: 

As I've written - probably far too many times - in the early days of the Cinema label, the owners chose to use some guy (no one seems to know who he was) with his console organ, and occasionally an equally mysterious female vocalist over the same type of music. By 1973, they had segueing into the use of the gang who who also worked for Preview, MSR and, later, Columbine, with some '72 and '73 releases featuring Mr. No-Name and his organ on one side and Dick Kent and the gang on the other. 

I like to imagine what the conversation was around the Cinema offices when that decision was being made, and also what Mr. No-Name said when he learned he'd been replaced. They could have stayed with the one-man band - who made a few of my very favorite song-poems, but also made some hilariously incompetent tracks and several plain old dull ones - and saved a lot of money. But they chose to shell out more money for a full band sound and a whole stable of singers. 

Apparently quality won out over cost efficiency (although I'm not much of a fan of the MSR gang at all), and again, I wonder what this guy thought - "You're firing me and hiring SIX people?". 

I said this guy made a few great records. "Send Me Your Heart" is not one of them. First of all, there are enough lyrics here for a standard 150 second song-poem record, but for some reason, he dragged it out with repeated sections and a lengthy (SEVENTY SECOND!) solo section. What's more the setting is dull, even lifeless. And finally, what is one supposed to do with lyrics such as "You have the answer to my life" - I don't even know what those words mean. And the big finish ending is just mangled. 

Download: The Real Pros - Send Me Your Heart

Play: 

The flip side is called "Lonely People", and it's even worse than the song of that title by America, if that's possible. Here's the deal: two people love each other but can't be together and who are always lonely, for reasons known to them. They had one night together, and the singer lives for that day, which will never be repeated. It's stultifying.  

Download: The Real Pros - Lonely People

Play: 

Sterling Tries Something New!

Good Day!

First, I'd like to offer up yet another vintage song-poem ad (two of them, in fact) as supplied by Vinnie. The top one is for Columbine, one of the kings of the 1980's song-poem world, and a label I've barely featured here due to my not being able to stand well over 95% of their output. The other ad... Well, I have no idea. 

I love the early Sterling label records. They have a sound and a style unlike any other song-poem label. And even when they got to be more bland in the late 1960's and early 1970's, the singing was still stellar, as it was usually coming from the magnificent Norm Burns. After Norm's VERY sudden death, they turned largely to Gary Roberts, who was the anti-Norm - a man who could barely carry a tune at times, and had a guileless, yet at the same time virtually charmless way of performing. Throughout what was at least a 10-15 year period under both these singers, the label presented a very pop oriented feel. Norm occasionally was asked to sing songs which had titles that implied a certain level of soul, or at least earthiness, and he once had to take on a lyrical role suggesting that he was something that he most certainly was not. But even on those records, the MOR feel and a definite "Whiteness" prevailed. 

That makes today's record more than a bit startling. Because after the departure of Gary Roberts, Sterling's next (and final) male singer was Mel Moore. And by a few years after Mel took over, roughly 1978 it would appear, Sterling released this record: 

If you simply played this song for me and told me it was a song-poem and asked me to guess the label, I doubt I would ever get around to guessing Sterling. This record is heavily influenced by Soul and Jazz trends from the late '70's, particularly the records of George Benson, and it bears no resemblance to the God-Awful Gary Roberts records, or the often wonderful Norm Burns records. This is as complete a makeover as I can remember hearing from a song-poem label, and in pretty quick order, too. I'm not saying this is good - it's not, at least to my ears - but it's certainly a surprise. 

The song was written by someone named Gutmundur Reynisson - whose first and last names each sound like a nonsense word you'd use when you can't remember the name of some little thing you're looking for. However, someone with a nearly identical name has credits on at least three albums released during the 1970's. I'm guessing none of those songs sound like Mel Moore and Image performing "Take it All Easy", though. Have a listen: 

Download: Mel Moore and Image - Take It All Easy

Play:

For the flip side, "My Woman", Mel Moore seemingly left his band ("Image") at the bar they were playing at and took the band van back to the studio by himself, because they're not credited on this one. Yet there's a band, such as it is. On this one, the closest hit records that are perhaps being emulated are no longer the ones by George Benson, but something closer to... Barry Manilow? 

God knows what the song-poet did, but he apparently thinks his woman is a saint for putting up with what seems to have been a whole bunch of crappy behavior. And he's gonna tell us how much he appreciates it. And then tell us again. And again. Or maybe he's only telling one person. Let's hope she decided to stay. 

Download: Mel Moore - My Woman

Play:

A Rival For Paul McCartney?

Right off the bat, here is yet another ad - or in this case a series of ads - that my pal Vinnie shared with me, for me to share with you. A couple of these seven ads are not for song-poems, but presumably they all came from the same page (and strip) from a magazine or paper. There's a lot to investigate here, and i wonder how the budding song-poet decided which company to choose. 

And now! It was just a short three and a half months ago that I wrote these excited words about a record I had obtained: 

If I have a chance to pick up a Tin Pan Alley single from the late 1950's through the 1960's, I'm going to go for it, if the price is right. It's one of my favorite labels. But if that record shows a label number in the 390s threw the 400s, I'm downright giddy at the chance, and may spend a bit more than I would have otherwise. 

Because for that short period - however long it took to get through those 20 or so releases - the label sometimes (but not always) used a bass player who seemingly had no knowledge of the instrument and barely a sense of rhythm. I've shared several of these records before, most notably, but not limited to, "The Proon Doon Walk" and "Snow Man"

 Well, amazingly, and very happily, I have found YET ANOTHER ONE: 

There simply cannot be an endless supply of these records. They all occur between about number 390 and number 410, and not every record in that sequence has this bad bass player present. So every one found is a treasure, even one, such as this one, where are man on double bass plays less of a role, and is less obnoxiously incompetent, as son some of the others. 

The singer, as is the case on most of those non-ace-of-bass" singles, is Bob Gerard, singing the song "Sparkle With Dew" for us. The fact that a guitarist is playing big fat rhythm chords buries the many, many missed bass notes on this record, more so than other tracks in this series. Additionally, the rhythm of the song doesn't really lend itself to the Boommmm-ba-Boommm rhythm that not-the-second-coming -of-Charles-Mingus preferred. But it's still a worthy listen for its amusing half-assed-ness 

Download: Bob Gerard - Sparkle With Dew

Play:

The bass player has even less to do on the martial number on the flip side, "For Our Country", but he still manages to land on the wrong note on virtually every downbeat. This is one of those records thanking the Lord for the land he granted "us", with nary a mention of the millions of people who were already, you know, using it. 

Download: Bob Gerard - For Our Country

Play: