Two One-Sided Song-Poem Acetates

 In my continuing - if only occasional - effort to put forth a well rounded picture of the song-poem world, today, I am going to feature two one-sided acetates, one from the relatively (within that ssong-poem world) enormous Globe factory and one from the much smaller Promo Records outfit (a company which I admittedly know nothing about). 

We'll start with Globe: 

The Globe company put its material out on a dizzying number of labels, many of the vanity names owned by the song-poets. Others, such as Air, were labels that, for reasons I still don't understand, released material by several different companies, more often than not on the same EP. Still other recordings went to labels such as Roxie and Ronnie, which, as far as I can tell, only released Globe material. The AS/PMA website for Globe lists more than 40 labels associated with the company.  

So far as I know - and I could very well be mistaken - Globe did not release any 45's under their own label, and only produced acetates for customers under their own logo. If the song-poet liked what he or she heard on the acetate, arrangements would presumably be made for the performance of the song to be released on a label. Or perhaps you could pay a smaller fee and only get an acetate two. Or five. I don't honestly know. 

Here is one of those one-sided acetates, which features label stalwart Lance Hill, singing a forgettable piece - which melodically reminds me a bit of "Gentle On My Mind", except that it's awful. And neither John Hartford or Glen Campbell would have tarted up that great song with a yakety sax. 

Download: Lance Hill - I've Got to Find My Way Back Home

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As mentioned, the other one-sided acetate for today is on the Promo Records label. Promo Records did not identify their singers, or in this case, their singer-talker, opting instead for only the author of the lyrics. 

And I must say, the lyrics, or more specifically, the story at the heart of "Sin Doesn't Pay" confounds me. And it confounds me because of that title. Here we have a short song about how sin doesn't pay wrapped around more than two minutes of a story that takes place in 1941, about a man who drank some alcohol and walked from one home to another along or more likely on the railroad tracks and (I think - it's never actually said) got hit by a train and killed. 

My confusion is this... what does that have to do with sin? Is drinking alcohol a sin? Jesus is said to have turned water into wine. Is walking when you're a bit tipsy (instead of driving) a sin? Can't see that at all. Is walking on railroad tracks a sin? Stupid, yes, but a sin? I'm not trying to be dense here - I truly don't get what the narration has to do with the song part of this record. It's as if Ray Stevens sang the chorus of "Everything is Beautiful" at the start and end of that record, and then put a detailed description of a baseball game in the middle of it. 

Beyond that, if I'm right that he got hit by a train, why was he frozen in the lake? And if I'm wrong about him being hit by a train, and instead, he drowned, where, in the story, does it say that. 

I have the feeling that the song-poet here was writing about something that happened to a family member, but even with that heartbreaking aspect of it, I'm going to call this one of the most bewildering, and one of the downright dumbest song-poems I've heard. 

Download: No Artist Named - Sin Doesn't Pay

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Incidentally, to add a completely separate mystery to this record, apart from the confusion around the story told, the un-pressed flip side of this record shows the backwards and faint imprint of a record on the legitimate Jewel label, a record by Lowell Fulsom called "Don't Destroy Me", from 1970.

On this page, there is an image of that record's label. 

And her is the backside of the Promo Records disc: 

The Irishman, Johnny Williams

I am very excited whenever I can land a copy of another Johnny Williams Tin Pan Alley release. I find that most of his records have at least one side which is entertainingly ridiculous in one way or another. He doesn't appear to have worked for the label for very long, and I love his records so much that I'm already dreading the day when I realize that there may be no more new-to-me Johnny Williams records left to hear for the first time. 

Today's presentation - hot off the eBay marketplace and into my turntable - is no exception to what I just wrote: 

I hope that the song-poet behind "The Irishman" appreciated what he or she received. Hard to say what that writer might have expected, since the entire lyric is only eight lines long. The folks at Tin Pan Alley did their best to stretch it into roughly 90 seconds of music, via a lot of drumming and a guitar solo. In this way, it's much like one of my two favorite Johnny Williams' singles, "Chinkerincky". 

If anything, "The Irishman has even fewer lyrics than that classic, but Johnny Williams gives it his all, with an appropriately, and typically ridiculous vocal performance. I am not disappointed. 

Download: Johnny Williams - The Irishman

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On the flip side is a real surprise. It's called "Shut Your Eyes and Court Her Again", and it's a tender lyric encouraging the practice of imagining one's lover as she was when you were newly in love. I found these words quite effective and touching. AND, it may be the only song poem I've ever heard to contain the word "bosom". 

Johnny Williams was, to my ears, not really capable of singing a slow and soft song with any technical skill, and I've mostly found his performances on such material to be anywhere from incompetent to cringeworthy. And he's not "good" here, either, but he sells it about as well as he was able, given those limitations, and at a certain level, he connects with the sweetness of the lyrics. 

And hey, doesn't the band sound, as heard here, seem to predict the 1960's sound of Sterling Records? That's kind of interesting, too. 

Download: Johnny Williams - Shut Your Eyes and Court Her Again

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The Cat and the Mouse in the Tender Trap?

I've been busy as a porcupine lately, to quote one of Shelley Berman's more "out there" routines, and I haven't posted in almost two weeks. I still don't have much time to put this up, but wanted to get something up here. I haven't put any Halmark records up in quite some time, so today's the day. 

So today, we'll visit with our old friend Bob Storm. Well, as has been discussed, there were two Bob Storms. This is that Bob Storm and not the other Bob Storm. Hope that clears things up. 

The only thing I'll say about "Why Is It So", is that it contains a set of lyrics that, as far as I can tell, don't mean much of anything. Your mileage may vary of course. But really, what, exactly, is being expressed here: 

But baby, you could be the cat that trapped the mouse in the tender trap... so why is it so? 

Um, okay. 

Download: Bob Storm - Why Is It So

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Oh, and this is one of the relatively few relatively rare cases where they spelled their label name Hallmark, and on which the singer was named. 

The flip side is "Blue and Lonely", and like "Why Is It So", it is built on a backing track that any Halmark/Hallmark fan will recognize immediately. 

Download: Bob Storm - Blue and Lonely

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