Cuckoo for Coco Records

Greetings!

Before I get to this week's offering, I have a bit of housekeeping. 

First, I received the following interesting query from a new visitor to this blog: 

Hello Does anyone know where I could get a copy of the Cinema Records & Action Music Compilation of various persons . Who entered the 73 or 74 "American Song writers Compition"

It's a 45 rpm with several songs on each side. My copy was destroyed.

It includes; "Those happy days that we once knew" written by myself:

Merv 

I know nothing of this record, but if anyone out there does, please write me, and I'll try to put you and this long-ago song-poet together. 

And second, with regard to my fanciful mocking of last week's posting, specifically my amusement at the line "our song was worthless", Sammy Reed has pointed out that the line is probably "our song was wordless". Undoubtedly so, I suppose, but it still sounds more like "worthless" to me. 

And now.....

I believe I have a brand new, previously unknown song-poem label for us to gawk at and enjoy. The product on the record is from the Globe song-poem factory, which rarely used its own name for releases, and there is really very little indication of quite where (or when) this record came from, other than that someone named Chloe was definitely involved. 

The winner of the pair, for my money, is this genuinely oddball Sammy Marshall track, "Goodbye Mister Blues". Why oddball? Well, if you're going to use the word "Blues" in the title, you are very likely to use one of the standard settings for blues. And while this fits the bill in terms of instrumental backing and general groove, it's also a fact that blues typically comes in 8 bar, 12 bar and 16 bar forms, as well as a few others. And, in fact, the solo section and the bridge are both standard 8 bar blues patterns.

But oh, my, those verses! They are 7 1/2 bars long - bar six of each verse is two beats long. What the hell? Pretty damn disorienting for a simple song-poem, or for a standard blues arrangement, let alone both. What were the people at Globe... oh, sorry, Coco, smoking? Cocoa-Puff fatties? 

Download: Sammy Marshall with Orchestra - Goodbye Mister Blues

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On the flip side, we have occasional Globe performer Mary Kaye, with the somewhat more sedate "Sad Heart". This has a nice, loping beat, a pleasant melody and an engaging vocal, but nothing else about it really connects with me. Oh, and I do greatly enjoy the last two seconds. But otherwise, a fairly standard Globe offering.

Download: Mary Kaye with Orchestra - Sad Heart

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Some Stunningly Bad Lyrics, A Typically Terrible Performance

I was surprised to note that I hadn't featured the resolutely awful Noval label in just under four years, and thought I'd probably rectify that. 

I think that if you weren't paying close attention to "Our Song", it would just sound like another terrifically terrible Noval musical and vocal performance, with its plodding music and a male singer whose sense of pitch is akin to what a sense of balance is to someone with vertigo. 

I, on the other hand, was dialed into the words right away. From the first moment, I got a chuckle out of a song called "Our Song", which starts with the phrase "Our song had no words".... and yet, you're singing words in a song called "Our Song". 

But that was just a start. Consider these pearls of songwriting craft: 

"Our lips hummed our song" (not sure I've ever heard a reference to lips humming before)

"Oh yes, our song was worthless" (I dunno why, but that just cracks me up)

"but told of love so true" (recall that the lyrics made a point of saying that the song has NO WORDS)

The vocal performance at 1:35 is pretty special, too. 

Download: No Artist Named - Our Song

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The flip side features the other most common singer on Noval releases, a female vocalist who, unlike her male counterpart, seems to have a bit of style, although she also seems to find melody - any melody - challenging. This record - "Loved and Lost" - is as equally plodding as the flip side, and has the disadvantage of an extra 35 seconds, but is otherwise much more forgettable. 

Download: No Artist Named - Loved and Lost

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"Lance" Boils Over

Howdy, everyone, 

I'm always jazzed when I can take ownership of a previously unheard record by my favorite incompetent Tin Pan Alley vocalist, Lance.... er, "Lance", so I rushed this one to my turntable to share it with you. 

On "I Wish I Was a Cowboy", "Lance" does not disappoint. The song, as written, does not require a lot of vocal talent or versatility, and since "Lance" was lacking in those very qualities, he was perfect for the role of (Yee-Haw) Cowboy Wisher. The folks at Tin Pan Alley apparently thought playing Oompah chords would qualify as cowboy music if someone rubbed some sandpaper together, as was being heard at the time on the occasional Johnny Cash record, among others. It works spectacularly, if you define spectacularly as meaning "not at all". 

It rather amazes me that the folks at AS/PMA had access to this record, from the early days of their MP3 offerings, yet didn't see fit to share it. 

Download: "Lance" - I Wish I Was a Cowboy

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The reason I know they had this record, is that early on in the days that AS/PMA began sharing MP3's, they DID share the flip side, and it's still available out there in a couple of places. So I broke my rule of not featuring songs already in the song-poem ether because the "Lance" side is so entertaining. 

Anyway, my guesses are that they shared the flip side, "I'll Follow" because 

A.) it's also incompetent, although to my ears in a far less entertaining way than "Lance"'s performance. This is a group performance of a waltz, which is sung badly out of tune (when it is sung, including the backing vocals), and which quickly moves to the talking that has doomed many a song-poem record. Your mileage may vary, but my response is "boy, that was bad.. and boring", and not "boy that was bad.... and funny!" or "boy that was bad... and entertaining". 

B.) perhaps there was also an element of just being amazed that TPA would name the group on the label, "The Silhouettes", given that that was the name of a still active singing group with a not-so-old number one hit to their credit ("Get a Job") at the time of this release. Presumably, trying to get either the buying public or the song-poet to think they were getting that hit group's latest release? 

For my money, I don't think there was even a real "group" here. This is the only known billing of "The Silhouettes" on TPA, and the lead singer sounds like Phil Celia on an off day,. My guess is that the song-poet asked for a group, and as there were no groups on TPA at the time, one was created for the moment. 

Anyway, this is already out there, but I thought I'd include it for completeness sake. But I think AS/PMA missed a bet by not going with "Lance". 

Download: The Silhouettes - I'll Follow

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