A Mike By Any Other Name Would Sing Just As Poorly

Hello! 

First, I want to acknowledge a comment from a poster on my previous post, a Hal(l)mark release that you can find here. That poster wrote that the record was a Rite pressing from 1964. Now, I know nothing about Rite pressings (or any others), how they are determined, etc. And honestly, I don't want to know how this sort of thing is determined - it's enough for me to be told what someone else figured out. 

The reason I mention this here is that the Halmark (or Hallmark) label has been documented to have begun operations in 1967. If this 1964 date is correct, it is a significant new understanding (well, for me anyway) about this label. I have always guessed that the "Hallmark" version of the label was the first one, and have further guessed that a lawsuit from that other "Hallmark" resulted in the permanent loss of one "L" from the label, so this one is probably among their earlier releases. If that poster (or someone else) can confirm 1964, I'd be much interested. 

And now for a voice frequent visitors will know, but not by this name. 

Before getting to this week's songs, I want to acknowledge that my pal Darryl Bullock got to this record first, and shared one side of it on his "World's Worst Records" blog more than a dozen years ago. However, that post's offerings are now dead links, so I thought I'd make it - both sides of it - available. The post in question, though, is well worth reading, being that it contains the memories of a niece of Tin Pan Alley chief Jack Covais. You can read it here. 

And I was excited to get this record, anyway. Not only is their scrawling on one side of the label, written by the song-poet, but it also promised to offer a taste of a previously unknown (to me) Tin Pan Alley warbler, one Mike Yantorno. 

However, one listen to Mr. Yantorno convinced me - surely this is Mike Thomas under another name. And... I'm guessing that's his real name. Perhaps his full name is Michael Thomas Yantorno. I dunno. But that's certainly the same singer who made dozens of half-assed vocal performances for Tin Pan Alley during the mid to mid/late period. A glance at the label numbers does everything short of confirms this - the two documented "Mike Yantorno" records come in sequence immediately before the first known Mike Thomas record - literally no more than three (known) releases before Mike Thomas shows up. 

So, I hear you clambering to know - are the the songs / performances any good? 

NO!!!!

Of course not. "A Beggar's Life" is an Oompah song without the Oompah tuba or bass, but with some less than stellar attempts to stay on the beat. Lyrically, it features the complaint of a man of the street, featuring the requisite mean policeman, the request for money for a drink, repeated verses and second grade level rhymes. Sing it, Mike!

Download: Mike Yantorno - A Beggar's Life

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Aside from the unknown (now known) singer, it was the title of the flip side of this record that drew me to it. What the hell does "I Tried, John (Joan)" mean? Unfortunately, the lyrics of the actual song don't give us a clue, as they are entirely directed at Joan. My guess is that the song-poet meant for the song to be sung by either a man or woman, with the singer deciding who he or she was singing it for. But it's weird to put it on the label like that, isn't it? 

The actual song and performance - dreary and draggy, with our Mike doing his version of the Bob Dylan imitation that popped up on seemingly every tenth record released in 1966. The last word of the song sort of gets buried in the music, but I think it's "me", and if that's the case, at least the song-poet got creative and included a surprise ending to her song. 

Oh, and on this side of the record, the song poet has written "Permanent Request: Play For Me - Kay B." Well, Kay, here's your long distance dedication. 

Download: Mike Yantorno - I Tried, John (Joan)

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