Fine Cars, Fine Cigars

Today, we again get to hear from that mysterious man of the Tin Pan Alley label, "Lance", whose name is always printed with quotes. We last heard from "Lance" when in March of 2010, when he was heard singing about the "Hat Me Father Wore". Today, he's telling a fairly incomprehensible story, involving the acquisition of two important categories of possessions, "Fine Cars, Fine Cigars". And this record brings up an interesting question, that being whether anyone involved in the making of Tin Pan Alley records in the mid 1960's was competent at their jobs. At different points on this record (both sides), the guitar player misses easy chords (and how about those solos?), the bass player appears confused as to what song they're playing, and the drummer seems challenged by his assignment which (on the A-side) is mostly to hit the snare drum on the off beats. And "Lance" repeatedly demonstrates very poor ability as a singer - as an added bonus, if you listen closely, you can hear "Lance" clear his throat at about the 2:04 point. All this is on top of the story being told in the song, which I find genuinely difficult to follow, and this is not enhanced by the clunky melody that the song-writing whizzes at Tin Pan Alley affixed to the words. The whole thing adds up to a truly enjoyable listening experience, as I hope you'll agree: 

Download: "Lance" - Fine Cars, Fine Cigars

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The title of the flip side of the record, "Troubles", could likely be a description of the goings-on during the recording session for this single. Amazingly, one second into the track, the bass player either plays a note completely by accident, or at best, plays the wrong note, and it's downhill from there - the bass being out of tune doesn't help, nor does a remarkably poorly played organ. There also seems to be an inadvertent (or poorly executed) edit around the 1:47 mark (that's not a file error, that's how the record plays).

Download: "Lance" - Troubles

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A Columbine EP

Nearly two and a half years into this project, and it's taken me until now to feature a record on the giant Columbine label. There are a few reasons for this, but the two biggest are: First, that Columbine primarily released albums, which I don't generally sample here, and second, I'm not a fan of their typical sound, or of the singing style of most of their singers. Although Gene Marshall made some Columbine releases (under the name John Muir), they released many more records featuring Ralph Lowe, for whom the word "unctuous" could well have been coined, and Kay Weaver, who is a genuinely terrible singer. But today's EP is worth sharing, for a couple of reasons. The main one is that the lead track, "I Have the Right", featuring Ralph Lowe, contains some lyrics which manage to be both spectacularly pedestrian AND logically baffling. The songwriter in question apparently believes that the fact that one has the ability to engage in a variety of free, open activities, which do nothing to disturb anyone or anything, means that one also is entitled to have his or her feelings returned, from the object of affection. Seriously: because "I have the right to walk the narrowest trail" (ooh, pinch me), it follows that "you have no grounds to protest my affection, you have no grounds to hurt me"? Really? Sing it, Ralph! 

Download: Ralph Lowe - I Have the Right

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Next up is the otherwise unknown Linda Bain (who is a terrible enough singer that I wonder if this isn't actually Kay Weaver), singing a piece of fluff titled "Listen to Me". 

Download: Linda Bain - Listen to Me

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The first track on side two is particularly appropriate today, when there are plenty of people who believe that the world may be ending (and if you're among them, thanks so much for making the trip to my site while preparing for the end). It's a song about judgement day, titled "Oh Lord, I Am Not Worthy", sung again by Ralph Lowe: 

Download: Ralph Lowe - Oh Lord, I Am Not Worthy

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The final track, "Passes By", is sung again by Marie Bain, and is notable mostly for the rhythm guitarist, who appears to be doing his best to imitate a duck with gastric distress:

Download: Marie Bain - Passes By

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California Moon

After three weeks of specialty, seasonal related posts, I thought it would be a good idea to get back to something more mainstream, and for better or worse, few song-poem labels attempted to be more mainstream than Preview. Judy Layne's name is one that appears rarely on the Preview label, appearing on roughly two dozen documented singles, all but one of them on the earliest set of records on the label (circa 1966-67). Here's one of those low-numbered releases, featuring a track that has all the hallmarks of a Rodd Keith production, and a mighty nice little pop confection it is. All, that is, except for the less than appealing vocals of the aforementioned Ms. Layne, who I find whiny and almost shrill. And yet, "California Moon" (written by the wonderfully named Estalla Beachboard) is still a fairly nice listen.

Download: Judy Layne - California Moon

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The flip side, "Walking Softly", boasts a relative rarity among song-poems, a co-writing credit in which neither name is recognizable as someone from the song-poem world (well, I don't recognize them, anyway). The same duo submitted another Preview song-poem, recorded by Rodd Keith, on a different 45 from this era. And despite the presence of a vibraphone (one of my favorite instruments ever), there is very little I find to enjoy in this side of the record. Maybe you'll have a different take:

Download: Judy Layne - Walking Softly 

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For Your Mother

Today's post is a special feature for Mother's Day, featuring Mrs. Burns favorite son, Norm (or Norman, as he was sometimes billed, including on today's record), singing "Loving Mother of Mine". For song-poem watchers out there, this Sterling release is interesting for a couple of reasons. First, although the backing track doesn't really sound out of the ordinary for a Sterling release, it is credited to "Ted Lane's Orchestra", the only record on this, or any other song-poem release where I've seen this billing. Ted Lane is also a co-writer on both sides of the single. In addition, this is Sterling records # 291. There is a listing for this label number at the song-poem website's Sterling page, but it's not this record, and that website also shows no listings for any records released featuring anyone named Ted Lane. Also, the times listed on each side of this record (identical listings of two minutes, ten seconds) bear no resemblence to the actual length of either side. Ah, the mysteries of the song-poem world. Anyway, I hope all of you, and particularly the mothers who are reading this, enjoy today's featured track: 

Download: Norman Burns, Ted Lane's Orchestra - Loving Mother of Mine

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The flip side, written by the same team, and featuring the same billing, is a patriotic number titled "One Flag Forever":

Download: Norman Burns, Ted Lane's Orchestra - One Flag Forever

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The Color of Spring

Here's a rather awful record which seems perfect to me for the season we in the Northern Hemisphere find ourselves in. And it presents a bit of a dilemma to me, as I'm not sure what side of the song-poem story it actually fits in. It's on the tiny Vellez label, and most of the other records I've heard from this label (or those that appear to be related labels), are wonderful, idiosyncratic pieces in various 1950 genres, well made by everyone involved. The weird thing here is that the week link in this case seems to be the singer. The songs (although only one of them appeals to me as a song) sound professional - perhaps a little bit too much so for them to be song poems, but you decide - and the arrangements, orchestra and backing singers all do quite well. It's the singer, Vicki Farrell doesn't sound like she was ready to be within two miles of a recording studio. Have a listen - the Spring tie-in comes on the B-side, heard first here, "Green is the Color of Spring": 

Download: Vicki Farrell with Male Quartet and Orchestra - Green is the Color of Spring

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  The flip side, which I much prefer to the above, (and would have shared first, if not for the Spring tie-in), is a bouncy little number, with some stunning bad singing, called "Absolutely, Positi'vly Love", with, yes, an apostrophe in only the second of those two very similar words, and yes, the apostrophe in the wrong spot (lending credence to the likelihood of this being a song-poem, I suppose...

Download: Vicki Farrell with Male Quartet and Orchestra - Absolutely Positi'vly Love

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Old Time Religion

Today, as we reach the culmination of Holy Week, a couple of religiously themed song-poem records, the first from Preview Records, the second from Sterling Records. First up, here's the great Gene Marshall, preaching about how his life has changed in "I Wanna Live For Jesus":

Download: Gene Marshall - I Wanna Live for Jesus

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On the flip side, we hear about how all of humanity is "Starved For Love", and Gene again offers up his solution (or at least that of the song-poet): 

Download: Gene Marshall - Starved for Love

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Heading from Los Angeles to Boston, we'll now check with Norman Burns, with Lew Tobin's orchestra, on the following record: 

 

First up, a song which nicely touches on some elements of both the Old and New Testaments, focusing on areas from each, which feature "Waters, Waters, Waters": 

Download: Norman Burns, Lew Tobin's Orchestra - Waters, Waters, Waters

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Finally, more than a little out of season, but included for completeness sake, here's the Christmas-themed flip side, "Sweeter Than Bells": 

Download: Norman Burns, Lew Tobin's Orchestra - Sweeter Than Bells

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Lulu's Boo Boo

Let me just say - I love Phil Celia! Or at least his records. I love the offbeat lyrics received by the song-poem factory at Tin Pan Alley, I love the Latin tinged, piano based tracks that were often used for his releases on the label, and I love the 1950's sincerity of his vocals. Today's big hit, "You Made a Boo Boo, Lulu" is no exception. And I don't know if this was song-poem Frances Gibson's idea or not, but the responding, coy female voice is a perfect addition. And let's not forget that Lulu's boo-boo, the thing for which callous Phil is dropping her, and taunting her with the fact that he will now marry someone else was.... going out and having various degrees of fun when PHIL WAS LATE. Way to turn your own mistake around and blame the woman, dude! 

Download: Phil Celia: You Made a Boo Boo, Lulu

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A more standard 1950's offering, "Honey Bee, Honey Bee, Honey Bee" graces the flip side:

Download: Phil Celia: Honey Bee, Honey Bee, Honey Bee

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Halmark Memories

Multiple demands on my time this week are keeping me from giving all but the briefest intro to today's offerings, so I'll just say that I've selected another pair of songs from the Halmark label. These songs again feature some syntax that doesn't exactly flow, musically speaking, and at least one music bed which should be familiar to frequent song-poem listeners. First up, "Memories":

Download: No Artist Named (Halmark): Memories

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And the flip side, "Remembering You": 

Download: No Artist Named (Halmark): Remembering You

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Spin Records - They're Tops!

Here's one of a handful of known releases from Spin Records, out of Arizona. For anyone who had doubts about the quality of a Spin release, the label assures all of that "They're Tops". Someone named Earl Luton appears to have been the driving force behind the label - his name shows up as a co-writer on most of the confirmed Spin singles. And although this record - "I'm Thru With You" - is credited to Sue Saylor (with the Dream Tones also mentioned on the flip side), the singer is clearly Cara Stewart, who released records under her own name on the Spin label, as well, and the production is almost typical for Stewart's partner-in-song-poem, Lee Hudson. I say "almost" because of the fascinating and fairly bizarre addition of what sounds like a massively slowed down violin providing counterpoint throughout the record. I guess an equally odd guess would be that it's an example of that rarest of things, jazz cello. 

Download: Sue Saylor, Vocal and Combo - I'm Thru With You

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The flip side is a religious number, titled "Mansion in the Sky", featuring more of the standard Lee Hudson factory production. A couple of comments here - first, the record starts just like it's heard here, seemingly a moment late. And second, the section which sounds like it's played off of a damaged piece of recording tape, starting about 25 seconds in, plays that way off of the record!

Download: Sue Saylor and the Dream Tones - Mansion in the Sky

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The Song Poets' War

The high point for the song-poem industry overlapped in part with the years of the Vietnam war. And as a result, there are an abundance of song-poems which touch on various aspects of that conflict. The last time we visited here with Rodd Keith, he was mulling over the fate of the child of a Vietnam warrior. Today, that same conflict is on his mind again, as he considers why the young men are dying, causing the young girls to cry in this touching offering, "Teardrops and Water": 

Download: Rodd Keith - Teardrops and Water

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The B-side to today's offering, "I Wonder Who's Holding Her", is notable for the fact that the specific phrasing of the title never appears in the text of the song. Additionally, it's another one of those records where Rodd tries on country stylings, to less than impressive results:

Download: Rodd Keith - I Wonder Who's Holding Her

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Sammy Dances Again!

A few months ago, I posted a pair of songs written by John Koproski, released on his family's Silver Records label, and mentioned that his son, John Jr., wrote a couple of Sammy Marshall dance classics which have turned up on Song Poem compilations. Today, here is another John Koproski, Jr. record, and it's another winning dance number, performed yet again by Sammy Marshall. The oddity here is that although both the Song Poem Website and a different Silver Records discography shows this record to have also been released on Silver (with the same flip side), my copy is on K-Ark Records of Nashville, which appears to have been more of a Rockabilly label, with no clear link to the song-poem business that I can figure out at this moment. Regardless of all that, this goes along with "Twist and Turn" and "Rock and Roll Boogie Beat" in the pantheon of great Sammy Marshall movers and groovers! 

Download: Sammy Marshall - A Dancin' Date with Sue

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The dreary flip side, "On My Bended Knees", was not only listed as the A side of this record, it was also recorded for Silver, previously to this release, by another artist (George Bryan), with a flip side to that version titled "A Dancing Pair of Shoes". How many of you would guess that the "Pair of Shoes" song was rewritten a short time later as "A Dancin' Date With Sue"? The plural in the title of this song makes it sound as if the singer is praying to his girl, rather than proposing, doesn't it?

Download: Sammy Marshall - On My Bended Knees

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Woe Is He

I was surprised to find that it has been just about exactly a year since I featured that most inaccurately named of song-poem groups, "The Real Pros", or their home label, Cinema. Today's offering comes from my favorite era for the group and label - their earliest releases, most of which feature what appears to be a one man band, playing one of those cheesy 1970's home keyboard/organ things that had preprogrammed beats and accompaniments. A few of my all time favorite song-poems come from this fairly tiny subset of records, and while today's offering doesn't reach the heights of "I'm Having My First Heartbreak" or "Deep Freeze Mama", it has some of the same qualities that make both of those records so special. The better of the two, I think, is the song identified as the B-side, "Woe-Men", with it's mechanical swinging keyboard beat, heartfelt vocal, and fairly non-musical lyrical choices. Plus there's the way the way he sings "Divorce!". Oh, and the whole misbegotten concept on which the lyrics are built, of course... 

Download: The Real Pros - Woe-Men

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The flip side, "What Good is the Moon?", has an equally artificial beat - a samba this time - and a more standard (and therefore less unusual/interesting) set of lyrics. The singer on these songs is the same person who sings on those much beloved records I mentioned earlier, and while he sometimes sounds like Gene Marshall, I don't think that's who this is, and I'm not sure I've ever heard this singer on any other (non Real Pros) song-poem records. What do you think?

Download: The Real Pros - What Good is the Moon?

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